Monday, March 06, 2006

I'm Not in Cleveland

There's a lot to love about LA. Did you know that 90 percent of all porn films are made right here in LA County? How many do they film in Cleveland? Nada! Not one! A certain Shmata Princess thinks Cleveland rocks. But how can you rock without porn stars?

What I really like about living in LA is that people here care about important stuff, like working out and looking good. It worries me that I'm gaining a little weight. I'm not the stud I used to be, my wife tells me. I look at myself in the mirror, and I see a stunningly handsome guy, but he's not sliding into jeans with a 27 inch waist anymore. Still, I can hold my own on the basketball court. In fact, I can beat you to a pulp.

It's tough to be a tough guy. I am Taurus, the bull. I charge at anything in red panties, except that trannie guy, Leslie. But inside, I chafe, I hurt, I could use some medicated ointment. I get stressed sometimes and I want to punch someone out. But I restrain myself. Yesterday, I pushed a guy down an elevator shaft because he let out a wet fart. But I regretted my hasty actions and I'm sending a large bouquet of flowers to his funeral.


At 6:09 AM, Blogger Stacey said...

LOL! There are no porn stars in Cleveland, because we don't have to act like we like sex. ;)

At 9:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL!! no smog, either.

At 9:59 AM, Blogger Jack's Shack said...

cleveland- the place where dreams go to die.

At 6:12 PM, Blogger PsychoToddler said...

You're the bull, alright.

At 9:03 AM, Blogger Jack's Shack said...

I tell it the way I see it.


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